Tuesday, April 29, 2014

"Say What?" Part 9: Where Can I Get My Own Group Of Sick People? Are They Expensive?

(Seen everywhere, in article comments, the news articles themselves(!!!), text messages, emails, you name it.)

"I'd like to buy it, but I just don't have the patients to wait that long in line."




Is that why I hate standing in line so much? Or why I hate waiting for anything, for that matter? I never knew that in order to enjoy the experience of waiting--or at least tolerate it--I needed a contingent of sick people with me.

So, how many sick people do I need? Is there a set number I should have with me, or does it vary by person? Does degree of illness matter, i.e., the sicker the people, the more enjoyable the waiting experience?

And, most importantly--where can I get them? I'll spend good, hard cash on anything that makes sitting for an interminable amount of time at the DMV an event I actually look forward to.

*Patience, and you're welcome.

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